Oct. 4, 2021

S1 Ep24: Halloween flash fiction contest - plus Tim Craig's tip-top top tips

It's here and we want you to be part of it! Our £100 Halloween flash fiction contest is now open! Just listen to this episode to get your ears round the phrase you need to include in your entry... and get writing! Plus, we've got fantastic flash fictioner Tim Craig on to give us all a few top tips on how to write great micro fiction stories. Enjoy!

Find out more about our guest here

More short form top tips from this fella (not to be confused with the other Gaffney)

Music by Dano Songs

it's a long tradition for folk to seek submission for the competition for several cracking lines look at byron sitting round the firing maybe partly inspiring mary's frankenstein here's wishing this is the spark the ignition for one of the great compositions of our time it's a halloween competition 666

and you could

well here we are again welcome to the failing writers podcast which this week includes the phrase you'll need to use in your halloween flash fiction entry i wanted it to be as his naked body slipped into a volkswagen beetle filled to the brim with pink strawberry custard but the boys said it's too specific it would be hard to put into most stories i mean come on what do they know

hello everybody dave you've got you excited i have like a slightly tickled santa i tend to say i'm excited every week but this week i am particularly always excited again everyone of course i am just i can ah it's nearly classic i'm gonna pop at some point because this is it this is the moment that we've all been waiting for where finally our very first failing writers writing competition is is starting lads if you can hear this now it's on yeah so if you didn't know it's it's a halloween themed flash fiction 666 words challenge a little bit later on we'll tell you there's a phrase that you need to put in there we will tell you that and uh dave do you want to give people the entry details yes tom i will and i can't remember our email what you need as tom said it's 666 words or less of flash fiction you also said that themed around halloween it doesn't have to be a ghost story or anything like that you know as long as i didn't say that but that's a really good that is a good point isn't it it can be if it wants to be spooky and scary that's cool yeah that's what you want to write and also i do love a ghost story so uh i'll be pleased with that yeah it's just a quirky little story about halloween costumes yeah trick-or-treating pumpkins maybe somebody who just happened to be born on the 31st of october i thought you're gonna say who was born a pumpkin maybe i want to give out too many brilliant ideas actually stuff yeah hold back there are only three things that you have to do one is make sure it's below 666 words two is include the phrase that we're gonna give you shortly that has to be in there somewhere otherwise it doesn't count and three email your entry to failingwriterspodcast gmail.com and you've got a couple of weeks haven't you so um 28 days closing date is the 22nd of october okay so it's not 28 days 28 days when we announce the winner yes sorry all the details can be found at failingwriterspodcast.com forward slash blog and then we will be announcing a winner yeah in our podcast which we are going to move a day early so it's actually on halloween oh my god and you can listen to the winning story it might even be yours who knows in fact i'm almost certainly right in saying it will be yours are you just talking to the one listener who ends up winning exactly that's right yeah yeah yeah yeah that's professionalism your story will be performed by some of the country's leading voice over artists and you will be able to hear it right here on this podcast on halloween guys guys guys we're going to have to go all the way back to the start and re-record this why i haven't forgotten to record again like uh previous errors we forgot to mention there's a hundred pound bloody prize we didn't forget that did we think we did i don't think we mentioned it at any point in that whole thing you're right there's a 100 pound prize there we go that's quite important really don't forget the limited edition merch as well i mean that yeah in some ways that that's worth more than 100 pounds t-shirts bookmarks all the stuff we've got left lying around that we haven't been able to get rid of in any other way great prizes wonderful prizes and we just really love to hear what what you've got to say really yeah and your story and just uh just have a go i think that's uh that's the main thing isn't it and also almost as good as the fact you could win 100 pounds is the fact that it doesn't cost you anything to enter that's right birdie it's free it's all totally free so uh so so chaps are we ready to announce the phrase that needs to be included in the story yes we are the big reveals i think we should have some sort of fanfare before it though so let's cue the fanfare right yeah

and the phrase is it hit the floor with a thud that's it those few words do you want to hear that phrase again people one more time that phrase again it hit the floor with a thud

those few words could win you the life-changing song you will need other words around it yeah exactly some other words around a bit yeah without those words nothing else matters it hit the floor with a thud go right we can't wait to hear what your footing fall is yes could be all kinds of things lots of things make a thudding noise when they hit but if you're thinking oh my lord i've never really written a short piece of fiction before or oh i don't really know where to start i wish the guys would ask someone on the podcast to give some top tips there's an experienced flash fiction writer well good news people we've got tim craig here who is an experienced flash fiction writer to give some top tips hello tim hello hello thank you for coming on my pleasure pleasure thank you for inviting me you're more than welcome more than welcome now you've got a little bit of a history in success in flash fiction haven't you uh i seem to have done all right yeah i mean it's a short it's time it is time to blow your own trees thank you that's very awkward i don't particularly like doing that but yes i haven't been doing it that long but i've taken to it i've i finally found my uh my writing home i think after many years thinking that i was going to be a novelist and never getting past the first page i suddenly realized well that should have been hint really shouldn't it that should have been it should have been i certainly didn't have to get past the first page and uh very much enjoying it and it's a bit like uh staring at the night sky and seeing more and more stars the more you sort of get into flash fiction the more you realize there are people out there doing it and the more you realize uh how many competitions there are and how many uh online literary magazines or zines as they're known um there are to have to get your workout scenes saves a lot of time you need every single pound yeah yeah absolutely yeah is it is it like you know in the olympics where they have runners that do different lengths and their speciality with 100 meters or the 10 000 meters do you have a is there a length of story that you kind of like doing word wise that's interesting i i find that mine come out better about 250 to 300 words um i mean flash fiction itself is generally accepted to be um anything under a thousand words right but that to me that to me is huge

you know but uh to me that's that's that's a heck of a lot of words a thousand ways i'm already bored after about 400 so do you think that's um because of your writing upbringing if you like because you you did what we all did in your writing radio ads yeah i think it's kind of been hammered into you about that kind of short and sweet and keeping i'm not sure which came first you know what i mean i'm not sure if it's because yeah

you know the the short stuff appeal to me or because i've got no uh uh patience or attention span that i went into writing radio ads in the first place or whether 25 plus years of writing radio ads crippled me for for writing anything else but certainly the two uh there are certain things in common let's say that sort of concision and um certainly sort of having to whittle everything down to it to its essence makes it extremely difficult to write anything along because you know you're constantly reducing it and reducing it and reducing it and you spend a week and you've got three sentences um so you know it would take me 400 years to write a novel so i kind of um i don't know as to say i mean it's the short answer but certainly there is a connection between the two yeah do you find you're sort of drawn to shorter stories in terms of the things you like to consume as well as the things that you like to write yeah increasingly i think again you had to have to draw a line between flash fiction and short stories you know that there is a difference there and and it isn't just about the length they are different animals i think one of you in the in the podcast i listened to the other day i was just touched on it very briefly and it and it was like you were saying it as a revelation you said it's almost like poetry and and there is a much closer uh relationship from flash fiction to poetry right then there is almost to short stories and then again from short stories to the novel you know there's something it's not just a word count yeah it's something that's that's more kind of without trying to get too sort of pretentious about it there's something more transcendent about about you know what you're writing in a flash or a micro fiction um that's that's that it has in common with poetry and certainly prose poetry um you know prose poetry and flash fiction are very very close in nature so it's almost like a kind of mindset you have to get into before you uh attack these things it is i think it took me just a while to get into that and listening to the podcast of you all doing that new york competition i could hear you slowly getting into that mindset i think when i started off it was like oh it's great well okay this is dead easy i'm just writing a story in in three or four hundred words brilliant i'll start he's got a start yeah and he's got middle and it's got a whiz-bang ending and there we go it took me a while to tune into the fact that that isn't actually what it's about tim i'm going to put us up for some well possibly some information we don't want to hear but you're saying you listen to our winchfest episode where we maturely discussed the judge's feedback on our submission yes were we were we completely wrong or were we mostly right where would you put the marker on in terms of um what you thought in terms of whether we were slightly hard done by or not i think i think there are a couple of things going on there i think that it felt to me like a little bit like the judges were phoning it in you know if they they they were obviously having to deal with an awful lot of um a lot of stories and it didn't feel to me that they'd given your stories enough attention and i think they missed the point on a couple of a couple of things and there are a couple of places where i fundamentally disagreed with them and agreed with your fundamental disagreeing with them um you know the bit about the old woman perhaps that little offline in the comedy

further explanation bloody old woman perfect aside and the fact they were saying we needed yeah we needed her backstory was completely off the mark we didn't need that i think i think the sad thing about that was just the judge's very suggestion that we needed more backstory about the woman yes was hilarious and more hilarious than dave's story i think that's what yeah that was the real problem yeah i sort of felt like they probably read through and they didn't get an emotional hit from from the story and so they thought that but now we have to post rationalize that let's just you know write some stuff down that shows that we've we that proves we've read the stories it didn't feel to me that they understood where the stories were were coming from on the other hand i think with a bit more time the stories you know might have might have been made to work a little bit harder yeah i think it's in a sense it is a bit like radio ads i think all the parts were there in all of your stories there's nothing missing um you know it's like you know they were the right length they had characters they had narrative you know they had action but i don't think they you probably would say this yourselves um i don't think they really sang if you know what i mean yeah i think i think i think they they were lacking souls oh yeah they were i think they were they came from the head rather than from the heart and sometimes you know if you if you'd left out a bit more detail and and and i think one of you said if we'd focused a little bit more on a smaller part of the story and made more of that rather than trying to tell a whole story yeah you might have been a bit more successful that was my feeling they needed something to just make them just to lift them a bit there's nothing wrong with them but in in a competition which is entered by you know as you said thousands of people then the judges are going to be that thing which does something different than something a bit special and as with radio ads you can tell the radio ad which is which is solid and workmanlike which does everything right yeah so you can tell the one which maybe breaks a couple of the rules but just delivers something uh a bit more memorable and and that's difficult to put into words so you know i did have some sympathy for the judges because i don't know where i would have started with those stories other than to say they were very very competent and there's that word again there it is again i'm sorry they were very you know it was your first stab at it yeah you know and you had a day to do it you had a day to do it and you had you had life stuff to be getting on with as well you know yeah yeah tim you say that though but what what happened with your first stab at um writing some flash fiction i knew as i said that you're going to ask me that yeah i yeah my first job i i accidentally won the breadboard prize which was uh which was oh bless bloody hell which is actually quite a big deal isn't it yeah so yeah it's like yeah yeah but it's all been downhill since then so you know it's um that's the worst possible thing that could happen isn't it because that immediately oh this is i must be really good at this yeah yeah yeah i'm probably the i must be the emma radhaka of literature i started off in you know position 300 and i want to major and you'll never hear from me again sorry emma you're going to go on to a long and successful career i know you did did ps morgan have an opinion about yours no i was very lucky with that and that was great but then as we said you know i wouldn't write that i actually wouldn't write that story again now because to me it did a couple of things a couple of things wrong so if i was going to disagree with the judges in that case it would be because they made me win

but it was like i wouldn't write a story like that anymore because it it did a couple of things that i don't particularly like in a story um which it had a bit of a whispering ending on it and i don't particularly like those it had quite a sort of formulaic structure to it but it also shows that you're never sure what the judges are going to say so it's always yes well yeah yeah absolutely well this brings us on tim to our our question of um hoping that you can kind of give some top tips for people that are going to enter our competition do's and don'ts i guess to some extent isn't it we've got a few we've got a few more words than your uh your typical um sort of level we've got 666 606 for our halloween contest lovely i suppose if i was going to give tips on that i would say the first thing to do is to read a lot of flash fiction you want to see what's out there and the good news on that is there's an awful lot of it out there now it's it's something that's really exploded in the last 10 or 15 years in this country it's always been around but i think it kind of started off with uh a guy called david gaffney who's brilliant and he wrote a book called sawn off tales and he talks very well about flash fiction and he's got an article that that was well he was interviewed by the guardian and you can find that online so he does a sort of top 10 tips on that that's um that's definitely worth not to be confused with dean probably doesn't have the same insight into the flash fiction world i'm sure we never know i've never read any of the micro fictions they could be they could be worth a read but no david gaffney is is is the guy to read here but um there are so many other great writers there's cathy fish is brilliant meg pochrus and there's a there's a book that's been recently released called going short an invitation to flash fiction by nancy stallman which i can also recommend so so read as much as you can so you get a sense of what's out there um great uh websites to choose from great sort of online flash fiction resources are the bath flush fiction award and i would say smoke long quarterly is another good one so yes read as much as you can is the first thing the next thing i would say is you are looking uh is not to think of it in terms of a whole short story i mean we sort of talked about this uh couple of minutes yeah not not to look at it as you know beginning middle and i'm going to write a short story but hooray i don't have to make it 3000 words i can only make it 666 words that's not what that's not what you're looking for this is as you contract the story i think you have uh more of an obligation to uh produce something which lifts out of the narrative and leaves the reader with something to think about does that make sense so again it's more that that link with poetry isn't it again exactly i think that's what it is you know once you you know you really gotta once you get down to to poem lengths and obviously it's it's it's it's so much about this this kind of transcendence but i think it um you know flash fiction is a hybrid um between poetry and and prose i think that's a that's a really good tip in itself to be honest because i i'd not quite well i don't think we'd quite put our finger on that yeah as soon as you as soon as you kind of spelled it out like that you kind of think oh yeah that is yeah does it and like you say it's really hard to to describe ironically in a few words but it is this might be a really really uh this might be a wanky way of putting it but i guess it's a bit like no it almost certainly is a wanky way of putting it but i thought you were just going to hand over to john then because that's normally his yes over to pretention corner but like a short isn't just uh um like a small beer is it you know is it a whiskey is a thing of its own with its own soul um you've got to look it in a completely different way rather than just it's a smaller measure of something bigger i would agree with that and i wouldn't say it was wanky i think that's exactly the way to look at it oh good it's excellent it has a completely different um character to it i mean people do bristle in the flesh fiction community such as it is when people say oh this is great uh you know you only have to you know you can do it really quickly and move on to something else um you know that's not really and and you know we all as radio ad writers uh know what people say say to us or have said to us yeah oh this is great you know so soon you'll be moving on to tv ads won't you and we get and we bristle about that because because they are they are different things and one isn't one that you don't you don't start off with one as a sort of the uh the training slopes and then move on to the next yeah it has its own very definite personality and it's got a hell of a lot of really good people doing it who've got no they've got no desire to write a novel yeah so they they specialize in yeah and if you do it well then you still need to come up with the characters you still need to round them out you still need to put them in a world that really exists i was watching a video last night of neil gaiman talking about roger zelazny um who was a you know short story writer in the 60s who apparently said to neil gaiman all my best short stories are the last chapter of a novel i didn't write and my first reaction to that was like uh well that's that's great because you only have to write the last chapter but of course if you're writing the last chapter of a novel that you didn't write then in your head you need to have kind of written the entire thing so you're not you're not really resolving anything you sort of need to have done it anyway it's one of kurt vonnegut's um maxim's wasn't it come in as late as possible that's that's the thing i also heard you guys struggling with um on the new york fiction challenge you know the sense of of having to give out a ton of information to people you know in the setup and of course you did if you're going to do the whole story but if you decide i'm just going to pick one moment to blow that up then then you can dispense with setup you can you can go straight in so you do want to come into a story as as absolutely as as late as possible what else can i say well i would also say in terms of winning competitions let's be cynical about this um i would say that if the judges are familiar with an awful lot of flash fishing contests they will see an awful lot of stories surrounding things like dementia and cancer very sort of dark stories like that and i would say because they're going to get an awful lot of stories like that then you really if you're going to do one you really need to make it stand out so i would avoid those subjects unless you've got a really particular take on it i would also definitely avoid a whiz-bang ending you know that's that's one of the first things that they tell you about flash friction is you kind of want the ending to leave the reader thinking that perhaps the story carries on a bit more somewhere else let's not say it's unfinished but you don't want it to to wrap up like a like a radio ad does you know what i mean you don't want that that sort of symbol crash at the end yeah that's interesting because a lot of short stories around the sort of i guess around thousand words or above tend to do that i don't know they tend to have a whiz-bang i think they certainly did they certainly used to i think increasingly they're not so um i i would say the more modern ones it's it's kind of gone out of fashion these things probably come in and out of fashion and currently the fashion is not to have is not to have a big ending on on your on your story right i was just going to ask you tim uh in terms of what you were just talking about do you think that applies across all genres as well do you think if you if you're talking about like the genre of horror say you still need to be doing the same things or comedy uh all those things still apply i i i think so you know um and i thought i heard when you when you were given those things the other day in this contest i thought oh that's tough isn't it horror because because you need a chill in there somewhere yeah you need it you need a chill in there but you know you you're immediately led into certain tropes aren't you once someone says horror to you and you suddenly get you suddenly get the you know the vampire teeth and everything else and you're leading two people to it with this six six six words um i think you you want horror but you want but there are horror films and there are horror films aren't there there are some which are very much in your face and there's some which which work just make you feel uneasy it makes you feel very uneasy it's it's sort of uh nightmare on elm street versus the blair witch project the grudge or the shining there's there's a ton there are tons of ways of of doing it and some stuff which is hinted at so i think it's yeah it's it's it can be done with subtlety as well can't it rather than just you know a mad axeman not very good at subtlety that's the only problem and i think with that with our competition as well we've stayed on with it's it's not it doesn't have to be horror does it or it just needs to have it just needs to be linked to halloween and it can be a quirky little tale about something else i think that's all that's right i mean all these things should be should be rather than a cage to your creativity there should be a springboard for it shouldn't you yeah it's just a signpost isn't it which road you choose to go down it's up to you to get there yeah yeah yeah definitely definitely so tim you're going to be uh you've you've said you're kind enough to help us judge from obviously our previous experience and what you said today i think that would be a very good idea uh to help us out so we can justify the winning entry um that'd be brilliant yeah um no problems i'm really looking forward to reading the entries because we are actually yeah we genuinely are like really just just being on this side of it rather than sending your stuff in you know you're just going to get such a a mix of different stuff and some will be scary some would be funny german you kind of got all kinds of different and hopefully but there will be that one in there that you think oh wow yeah i think you're absolutely right i've judged a few competitions um now and and the varieties is staggering i think you'll get just as much variety in a competition for yeah 666 word stories as you will for 80 000 word novels there's so much variety and people approach things in in in such a yeah it's an unusual way and it's great funny you click on the file you just don't know what you're gonna get and that's that's really exciting yeah i just have one more question though uh just so because i'm i'm just one more thing my wife she bakes these cakes but i um i'm presuming that we're gonna get like a million interest to this sort of thing so obviously we're not gonna dump a million stores at your door we'll have a little sift through them ourselves first a bit of pre-judging so what what are the sort of main things that we should be looking out for when it comes to assessing these wonderful stories that come to us i would go with gut straight off i would i would say okay i would just read it and and not get too hung up on about um you know the the the nuts and bolts of of story writing i would come away with just can you ask yourself did this story you know again it sounds working did it move me but did it do something special did do i did did it did it give me that exact sort of warm glow you know you know don't you as soon as you're pregnant that it's going to be one that you you're going to think about again tomorrow that's that's exactly while you're hanging out the washing you'll suddenly go oh what if those people did or what was that yeah so i would try it as far as possible sort of clear your mind of out of everything i've just said and just go with your gifts yeah yeah you've got already already forgotten it i'm really looking forward to seeing what we have brilliant what's the prize what's the price yes so the prize is 100 pounds of our own cash plus of course the chance to have your story uh recorded and broadcast by some of the country's leading voiceovers i think that's fantastic and it's that's a money that's a money can't buy you could buy it if you just paid equity rates yeah is it is it free entry or is it so of course yeah it is free yeah yeah so we see you say of course but an awful lot aren't so i think that's brilliant i think you know a hundred pound prize for a free entry yeah i think that's that's very much in in line with the going rate so excellent you should get a lot of entries for us wonderful guys thank you for inviting me on oh thanks ever so much for tim really appreciate it i hope it's useful and uh good luck with it yeah thank you very much indeed great thanks mate

some good top tips there some good top tips there is no excuse for you out there not winning this competition now it's all on you yeah isn't it isn't it a good job that we've entered another micro fiction competition guys yeah how do you say that but i actually do feel with tim's feedback there that i feel a bit more that's the kind of feedback i wanted from the judges yeah yeah i'm actually genuinely looking forward to writing this because i can i can see what he was saying and he agreed with us but then went a step further saying well and i think just just that bit about saying it's kind of like it's it's the the gap between bro broatry yeah poetry and pro yeah it's interesting as well what he said about trend as well i thought that that was that was interesting because if you read a lot of the winners they really they really don't have any sort of big endings do they they just sort of they're very uh sort of whimsical and they kind of drift yeah and then you go on the story again and all the winners a bit like that whereas ours i think we felt like we needed to we needed a bit of an impact and it's interesting that we don't yeah i think that's the thing that is the trend in tv as well isn't it when you think about everything's box sets these days and nothing ever ends because they're just always after a commission for another series yeah so that's the sort of way of things isn't it keep telling a story it's funny though actually we watched something the other day that um had a culmination ending that wasn't a big walloping mega battle thing it just kind of ended like it would do if it actually happened and it was quite satisfying really you know rather than rather than the endless endless kind of uh baddie versus goody battle that you get in things that was all the rage in the sort of 1990s films of you know this meg epic epic final battle big laugh but it just kind of ended but it's kind of like that it's the great ending isn't it the the end of the sopranos where it just cuts to black and you have no idea what happened um that's the sort of feeling that i was getting from what he was saying yeah i always think i think i said this in the po when we're talking about poetry the other way that it's for me it's almost the feeling of rather than kind of throwing something up in the air in a big firework display of an ending it's just about putting having something meaningful in your hands and just gently placing it on the table yeah so it is there it exists but you've but it's just very forget where you've put it and then gently looking for it later on and you ask your wife and she doesn't know and then it turns into an argument yeah that's it that sort of thing yeah but i thought it was interesting like he was talking about our little our little micro fiction pieces um and the one thing that struck me was was and this is a kind of tip for our listeners out there getting ready to write their own stuff is when i do when i do the next one is to try and treat it more like a passion than an exercise because that's kind of how it felt wasn't it we knew we'd never done it before and we knew it needed to be this number of words and it had to have this in it and this in it and it becomes like an exercise to like have you fulfilled these things that you have to do rather than it being sort of you know something that you're passionate about and uh something that you care about in any way so that feeling comes across in what you're writing um so there's a there's a tip i think for anyone who's gonna write their own story feel it nice dave yeah very deep isn't he with his check you out today with your whiskey and beer and stuff yeah i don't like kids but i don't like it yeah but impressive passionate dave he's patching passionate i'm passionate about winning a hundred pounds so i think it's we should probably just say one more time what the what this is yeah i was about to say that yeah here is the phrase you need to include i'm a bit worried i'm gonna say a slightly different phrase than one of them quite a while um was it it dropped on the floor with a thud it hit it hits the floor something about something we can always use that bit of audio anyway can't we

this one we made earlier it hit the floor with a thud that's what you're meant to say there we go perfect perfect well come on guys you've got some work to do yeah we should leave people to it shouldn't we because everyone yeah we should i doubt there's anyone left listening now because everyone will have switched off picked up a pencil and started right on yeah um so we're just really talking to ourselves well if you are still listening good luck and uh yeah just keep that hundred pounds in your mind and if this is your first time tuning in for the for the competition in my review um sorry no i'm i'm kidding i'm kidding it's brilliant it's a brilliant podcast welcome um welcome i've listened to some of the episodes before yeah and then we've got some good stuff coming up as well i mean we've got um we're going to do a brainstorming session about um doing a big pitch to a tv executive yes so this is a thing isn't it because we've talked about brainstorming and pitches and all that sort of stuff but i we thought it might be interesting for listeners to hear a brainstorm session live um i

yeah and the idea is we take that um idea or ideas forward spill them into a treatment pitch them to a real life tv commissioning editor and um cry yeah i don't know i don't know what the next step is there um see the ideas go up flames have some self-realization there's a reason that we've got a podcast called the failing writers podcast i don't know who knows how to lend yeah who knows i think if we're doing it we're doing it for you because rejection is an important part of the writing process and we are going to take that rejection for you so you get to experience rejection without actually being rejected dearly and the other thing we've got coming up which i think does have a certain level of irony is um we kind of set ourselves the challenge of randomly posting each other a piece of literature that perhaps wasn't the best written piece of literature ever which does feel a bit i don't like doing it to some extent because but then i think everyone has a right to have an opinion on stuff you don't have to be a a brilliant footballer to comment on a football match or an amazing chef to go and have a meal at a restaurant and go oh that wasn't brilliant yeah that was a bit something it's fair enough at the end of the day we might love it yeah yeah that's yeah they might be they might be brilliant yeah that one sent me isn't it the whole world might be wrong we're not here to make fun of people unless they're funny no no it's it's there is an element of serious discussion in there isn't it definitely what one person thinks is terrible another person will think he's great yeah and a lot of writers to be fair a lot of writers say yeah read crap stuff as well as good stuff and personally i don't read a lot of like supposedly bad stuff so yeah be interesting really interesting can you imagine john walking through the uh duty-free airport lounge and those books goodness me as he's got his like his massive light i don't know philosophy book or something he's struggling enough to play him with his complete works of shakespeare that one he's just weighed in under the baggage these books don't have any trees in them at all i'm not reading these remember that time when john promised he'd read out his tree story and record it do you remember that i remember that yeah i do remember that oh yeah i have started it um it's been busy it's been busy by the time you've finished it the trees will be different sizes taking that long deforestation will have reached such a point that no one alive will know what trees are john can't do his story anymore because it's now just a field where cows being found from mcdonald's burgers there's no trees left yeah so there's lots of things to look forward to in the failing writers podcast so yeah thank you for listening if you're a loyal long-time listener thank you yeah and if you're a brand new listener thank you but slightly smaller thank you it's still a thank you nevertheless yeah welcome but yeah make sure if you want to if you want to hear who the winner is when it comes to halloween make sure you subscribe immediately so you don't miss another episode at failingwriterspodcast.com so i think all that remains to be said is enter the competition by sending your entry to failing writer's podcast at gmail.com i've done it boys that's the email address isn't it congratulations and remember that's it and you need to include the phrase it hit the floor

with a thud and you could win 100 english pounds sterling but until then goodbye take care

where's everybody gone

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Tim Craig

Writer of short stuff | 1st
FF | 3 x Placed / Comm'd