Oct. 18, 2021

S1 Ep26: The Brainstorm Ideagasm

Thinking. It's hard. And this week we prove it. Join us at the start of a journey of creation. Like the big bang... but probably significantly smaller in terms of impact on the universe. And before you listen, try to guess which Sunday evening TV classic that we decide would be better equestrianised. 

Music by Dano songs...and Jon

i heard that mystic meg now lives on a pig farm in wiltshire with wolf from gladiators fact the things you learn on this podcast day amazing welcome to the failing writers podcast

welcome to the failing writers podcast again that nice lady has already said that's no nice lady that's john's wife oh sorry yes mistake steady on now she's a little well we've got a lot to get through haven't we because our brains have been doing a lot of work recently um as you'll shortly find out but before we get into that our brains have been sweating i don't know if brains can't brains don't sweat actually that'd be weird i could be really bad wouldn't it it's brains let's have a brain sweat brains if your brain did sweat when you thought a lot when you really put the thought in you just could feel your brain like getting oh it's getting really heavy you have like brain in there i don't know maybe that's what maybe that's what earwax is just like brainstorming leaking out no i think brains are like dogs they don't sweat their pants yeah just sticks its tongue out to cool down that makes sense yeah but i think um if we did want to go back to sort of maybe late 90s and set up a london agency uh brain sweat would be quite good yeah it's nice

because we've got a crack on but before we do we should mention that our halloween flash fiction competition is still open for entries it is unless you're listening to this after halloween and then it's already closed but right now it's still open for entries so um make sure you listen to episode 24 and go to failingwriterspodcast.com forward slash blog for all the details you could win 100 pounds uh but before all of that what we're doing today well

when you look into my brain you will find a lot of tiny little guys all inside they are the guys who are controlling my mind you probably have some too they're pressing buttons and controlling my ideas they make me eat too much they make me drink beers they make me facebook make me go to ikeas but sometimes they go wild and it's time for a brainstorm


that was possibly one of my favorite songs about brainstorms that i've ever heard in the history yeah it's in my top three top three of brainstorm tunes that yep brilliant thing i can't think of a better one i mean i still maintain still maintain at the end of the year we should do a top 40 top 10. yeah best challenge a little countdown our greatest hits yeah we've got some songs in there now i'll tell you oh yeah i don't know if you guys could tell but that song was designed to massage ideas out of your head and onto the page ah did you feel like you feel something i just thought i just had a bit of a headache but maybe i definitely made my head hurt yeah yeah yeah not quite what i had in mind but if that was what was going to happen with it john you maybe should have uh we should have listened to that before before we did the brainstorm we're just about to talk oh yeah but i ain't written you're massaging the ideas out of our head after we've had the ideas some ideas did come out of our head they did and i think you've always got to accept with brainstorms it's about getting the ideas out there isn't it and being willing for them to fail or succeed yeah i i kind of you gotta you've got to give away ownership of your ideas haven't you yes blue sky blue sky thinking yeah man you know what i mean yeah and very much put to the test the idea that there's no such thing as a bad idea i think we've pushed yeah we pushed that to the limit during this process in a training thing that i used to do on brainstorming um i addressed the no idea is a bad idea which is meant to be like a positive reaffirming statement isn't it yeah what it actually means is don't be scared to share any idea it doesn't actually matter whether it's good or bad we can decide that later just get it out yeah but then it's distilled down into this there's no such thing as a bad idea which some people who have bad ideas on a regular basis hide behind yeah there's like uh no idea it's a bad idea anything no actually it is that one and then i found this brilliant um picture of a us patent for a hamster jacket and it was this is this suit that's got tubes going through the limbs and across your torso the hamsters can run around in wow yeah yeah someone needed to tell them that was a bad idea apparently richard gear wore it on the red carpet

oh 1980s urban myth yeah come on i'll tell you this show if nothing else bloody current temporary yeah but yeah anyway on to the brainstorm yes it happened didn't it it did it did happen it did it happened over zoom which is why the the quality of some of this isn't quite up to the our usual standard to be fixed i mean the

yeah so we can all now listen to that brainstorm again for the first time because i haven't heard it before our listeners haven't heard it before let's share that experience together and i've certainly tried to wipe it from my memory too so should we before we uh uh divulge shall we um just quickly talk about what we what we planned to do what we brought to the table oh yeah why the hell did we do it in the first place why were we doing it and yeah and what was it we were doing good question john thank you very much answer them would you like me to answer the question yes

in a typical yeah john rand rhetorical way um well i'll tell you badly what we were doing was uh we have a guest coming up on the show who is a commissioning editor for television for uk tv and quite exciting it's very exciting indeed and we thought it'd be quite a nice idea to pitch him some ideas for some shows and see if we can come up with something that might you know possibly tickle his fancy yeah and so we went away and we came up with a few ideas few fairly random ideas and brought them to the table and then discussed them and that is effectively what this is what we doing then this is our idea should we dive right in should we do one one at a time have you got you got three each is that right yeah let's just do them all at once anyways whoever you can hear the most that must that must be the best idea just literally i'll talk at once sounds great let's go on your marks get set i think let's leave it to zoom to decide whoever whoever's the green one at the time uh i got my must confess i've only got two i've only got two ideas what um to be fair i was telling katie uh i had some ideas and she asked me what they were and i couldn't remember a single one which probably tells you something about the ideas it's not good it's not

what's an idea like yeah well we'll just have a really funny program about horses and that could be i mean that could be a good idea you just start working on that yeah there's not a lot of flesh on the bones there is not really there's a market for horses not very high concept yeah exactly i i was sort of thinking about the you know we had that little discussion about originality and uh the way that things are kind of getting commissioned i thought there's a bit of a pattern for things that are a bit like other things but in slightly different settings um so you know that uh the famous elevator pitch for aliens being you know run through a very long pitching process and then say like antiques roadshow on horseback basically that is basically where i went so liberty chefs cook inside world war ii tanks yeah that's pretty much but i thought take a sort of successful comedy and just phrase it in a different way so sex in the city is about a columnist right who has sort of adventures during the week and it all goes to inform her column i thought what about a group or an individual some sort of podcast type thing where somebody is having adventures during the week and it all goes to inform their podcast for that week is this a radio is this a podcast no no no no no this is it's basically it's a it's a sitcom idea uh is this like oh i hate to do this dave um i'm currently watching one murder in the building with martin short and steve martin yeah is it any good it's all right actually yeah but um there's a murder in the building and then they start a podcast and then each episode is their episode of a podcast while the master is happening there we go right see so sorry dave but i mean that doesn't mean it that's actually a really good idea that was the first one that was a really good idea it's annoying so myself and it did feel awful there deflating that balloon because you think well yeah that is a good idea and you can tell it's a good idea because someone else has done it spend a lot of money on it and it's now on their disney channel or whatever yeah yeah all you need is to get um some time really well time machine some really well multinational successful comedians involved in your production yeah i think steve martin co-wrote it so i don't know if that had any bearing on his success being picked up i doubt it's almost without yeah maybe it's a bit like what adrian was saying isn't it really you just yeah you gotta get on those ideas yeah no point hanging about around i mean you can't you can't uh have you can't talk about ideas on a podcast i mean that would be the like the worst thing you could possibly do stupid wouldn't it what sort of idiots would do that also thinking back i do like the idea of a funny show about horses i think in retrospect that's a winner isn't it yeah i think what we've done he's gone through the entire thing and missed out best ideas

it'd be good actually that wouldn't could you imagine the amount of stuff that would just get broken yeah yeah all these ming barsies and old paintings oh i've dropped it come on now keep writing anyway over to john it's got the classic regency furniture oh plenty of it's about to be on the shire horse or something for that wouldn't it they're brilliant let's do it yeah that concludes it then i guess we'll just yep i think that's the end of the episode thanks for coming everyone so yeah so that that one got pooh-poohed quite quickly i didn't get poo poo i won't have that actually no you're right it wasn't poo-pooed it was uh i mean yeah what was it it was dismissed dismissed it was just dismissed but with great admiration i think it was an honor it was an honorable discharge that's that's what it is

and uh number two let's go for speaking of uh being pooh-poohed well so my only other one because they're not going to be making any more friday night dinner now that the dad's dead i thought tuesday night supper

um we have a spin-off series monday morning yeah it's like a friday night dinner style thing but based around um like a poker night um so it's it's people get you know sort of old mates get together

yeah yeah yeah so all about their sort of friends dynamics and you have different people turning up or things going on in the house yeah so because friday night dinner was essentially a really simple concept it was just people going to a house for a dinner every week and then crazy stuff would happen do you do you do a poker night birdie i do yeah not not that regularly i do i do as well

yeah i thought it was something we know a bit about and it's just a kind of it's a really simple engine to get together but then from that basis anything could happen it's very cheap to make as well yeah which is quite good for you can see the big arc as well can't you for the series where yeah yeah really because it's the stuff that's going on in the individual people's lives yeah just even even the episode where uh one of the guys it's you know it's these five or six regulars and someone just brings a random friend yeah yeah yeah the outsider changes the dynamic

yeah i feel like he needs a title dave what's his working title poker night nice i like it i like it it's gotta be yeah that's so that's my other idea but i think that's quite a sort of uk tv cheap to make

i think that would be definitely worth working up a bit of a treatment thing to see what the you know just to just flesh out some characters see what kind of balance can get in there pick up some interesting little you know like maybe one of the guys is really old the rest are kind of quite young but there's one guy that's old or there's the other interesting thing about poker night is that you often play in each other's houses and you you mix it up so that would be quite nice the other wives who potentially someone's having an affair with yeah you know what i mean different people bring in different cameos and oh there's someone oh there's one one of the characters who never lets it go to their house yeah and you don't know why and then there's a reason and then the episode where they ended up having to do it in the pub because no one's and it just gets really wrong or there's good yeah it kicks off with the rival poker group at the pub yeah if you've got maybe sort of the bridge club wouldn't it the would be in the corner but if you've got like six regulars um and it's each week is in their house that's that's your six episodes for your series yeah it's nice i like it baby yeah there we go that's something there's a starter it takes a lot of boxes out one day yeah yeah lovely there you go so you know two ideas but one of them was all right yeah those are both all right just it's about getting them done before some other bugger does a minute yeah steve martin's always jumping in first that's the problem yeah if we could get him attached to it quite early on then he can't go and do another version of it can he and maybe email him did he send that email john oh that's gone yeah not had a response yet but i think it's just steve.martin at yahoo.com isn't it i think i think you're right well i yeah i quite like that idea as well you know what of the two ideas that and it's not it's not because they're both mine but the two ideas put forward so far what the horses and the poker yeah and the horses i think it's interesting listening back to that now is you can tell how immediately we uh got our hooks into that yeah yeah well yeah exactly just all the little ideas start flowing you know it's a good sign of a good idea yeah yeah these building blocks and things just slot in so it turned out it turned out we peaked quite early yeah possibly because following that wow following that was this well then john what's your idea 2006. one of my one of my ideas okay it's a bit weird uh it's called life of byron and uh it's about imagine a sort of very silly historical comedy it's lord byron who lives in his halls of residence at university with his pet bear which he did apparently and i'm i'm imagining his pet bear is uh probably probably more intelligent than him and uh basically lord lord byron just wants to write poetry really bad poetry and and sleep with as many people as possible and keeps getting into little scrapes that's my uh that's my starting point that's about as far as i got is there a bear the bear is a guy dressed as a bear like a period piece it's a period piece yeah and i imagine the bear probably is actually the poet he probably writes all the poetry and byron uh maybe maybe does all of byron's work at university as well and byron's left to just you know just to be a bit of an animal it's quite niche i appreciate it's quite niche but then you have like a very good because you have you have john keats as well john keats is like perhaps slightly fae uh coughs a lot um

yeah so maybe you maybe you bring in lots of romantics into the mix because there's you probably won't have seen this john um i haven't actually watched it but there's that one called upstart crow oh yeah i've heard of that yeah yeah i didn't recommend that i suppose you haven't watched that yet john would have been shaped no no oh yeah i do need to watch that um it kind of does everything you've just said how is it it's all quite similar it's exactly the same but completely different in that it's it's exactly the same core concept but it's delivered in a in a prime time bbc sitcom yeah yeah so it's a bit more vehicle i'm i'm looking i'm thinking it's about quite low budget uh yeah it's like it's not it's not surreal but it does it calls up all the historical characters in the same way and delivers them differently yeah yeah i think i think that would be good as like uh more like the young ones

that is exactly the kind of style i was thinking yeah yeah slightly kind of uh very stupid slap sticky yeah yeah yeah i could definitely see that working yeah almost like house of fools kind of um yeah not really making any sense or having any particular plot you know well there will be there'll be a kind of a core thing that needs to be achieved in that you know he has to get this poem in on time and or get kicked out of university or there'll be some stupid thing that has to happen but i think that's a good idea i think i think there's a danger that someone would just say on the slush pile that would just be that's it's been done yeah possibly i don't know how you re-pitched that because obviously the historical element is is a huge thing isn't it yeah i think so i think the way i think the way you might do it is is just to cast all the characters however you wanted so byron could actually be a woman yeah yeah i think i think it could i think it wouldn't necessarily necessarily need to be period would it not necessarily i i'm thinking the costumes are just pretty bad but there could be a sort of mix of uh metallica t-shirt and a rough it sort of doesn't matter it's it's yeah it could be a bit of a time period fish out of water kind of thing you know it kind of just yeah it's not very well thought through yeah i feel like this is a stage you can get away with that at this stage i feel like it would have its own quite niche stupidity that's that's uh that's my feeling about it a lot of it would just come out of just messing about yeah but i think one of those things that is exactly the kind of thing though that would be handy to talk to your mate about do you know me because i i can still i can see you you can get a feel of how that would work but it's exactly the kind of thing that a tv exec would know more about whether it's right now yeah i think that's maybe i think that's maybe one of those ones where they'd want an attached comedian actor yeah pairing duo that have done yeah jimmy that are kind of on the lower ranks but do yeah surreal comedy yeah you'd want to see a little bit of it wouldn't you you'd want a little flash of it to get a handle on it in a way so to be honest that sounds like one of the ones that needs making as a radio yeah seriously yeah possibly with with you know so you've not got any of those constraints then you can kind of go full on yeah yeah and then if it makes it then actually they're willing to invest a little bit into making that surreal universe yeah yeah yeah there's an awful lot of them that comes like the mighty douche did didn't it yeah it does feel like uh it would be a massive gamble wouldn't it yeah yeah it's a bit off the wall it's definitely not a prime timer i think that's fair to say i think that's me i just had this image of john sitting there researching lord byron uh as he does often and then just suddenly going oh [ __ ] i need some ideas for some tv shows right i better just throw this one in i'd stand by my comment in that though i think um it would make an excellent radio for yeah yeah i mean amongst all the other things that we're writing currently yeah right that john might do

i don't know why i can't get the idea of of james a caster out of my head for this one when you talk about sort of associating a comedian to it as byron i i think it's i think yeah i think he's got that sort of whimsical uh yeah about him that i think you know i think he'd be quite good at that yeah yeah no that would work and then if we could get um the bungle costume from rainbow yeah yes yeah that's exactly right yeah yeah that will work lovely wouldn't it be so that would be so retro the proper original one that would just work and how does his voice go again i can only think of zippy what bungle bungle's i don't know uh quite normal bungalows it was quite normal wasn't it yes he was quite george was always doing this exhibit like this and george was just kind of talking oh jimmy

yeah that sort of thing uh yeah how about it's cast with rod jane and freddie with all the characters from the original rainbow wow wow that'd be pretty amazing starring jeffrey as lord byron yeah exactly whatever the bear was called zippy is keats come on there's something in there is he still around is he did he did he jeffrey is he dead oh i feel like that died yeah i think he did that would have been the mockers on it wouldn't it but um oh man it wasn't one of the episodes or anything it didn't happen like when kids were watching just they're just old age later on someone just pulled the curtain across that's it i think zippy did it i think maybe that's what we should be murder mystery yeah sticking through

yeah again see it's another one that seems to be writing itself so i think that's a good sign i mean yeah god i wish we'd not broadcast that one on the podcast so that's definitely going to go that one isn't it absolutely james is probably listening look what steve's martin's new project is

that's what we'll be like oh yeah stepping in for jeffrey watching rainbow as a kid did you steve martin you see i would like to i genuinely like to see that i've watched tv for that it's got it's got edinburgh festival written over there yeah doesn't it yeah if you could get hold of the original costumes as well that would be that way that's just got it has got a drawdry isn't it imagine the poster the cast of rainbow as uh eight like eight 19th century poets just just i need to google what jane and freddie are doing now and you could start it off couldn't you with the uh thames tv

yes oh my god guys is this actually the best brainstorm that's ever taken friends is it just me the streets and houses byron's really high it just works isn't it yeah it's there's something there why didn't we do this years ago do you like to hear the next oh yeah well i i think we're on an upwards trajectory aren't we so definitely i'm coming definitely i was going to say we didn't do it years ago because we were too busy doing that um bagpus thomas hardy crossover

tommy yeah uh where should we go um well should we stick on the sitcom thing or should we go to a different genre oh god then let's mix it up we'll go to a different one i don't really want to say this one out loud to be honest yes i had this idea quite a while ago and i've always keep coming back to it which thinks is a good idea so it's a game show where you've got two contestants and all they have to do to win the jackpot to win the money is just say i'm taking the money so the jackpot starts off at zero and slowly goes up right throughout the show so you just kind of got this constant standoff are they doing anything in the meantime they're just staring each other down they're just staring each other down while the pot goes up and they can chat with each other they can kind of how fast is it going up what what we're talking about i don't know it made me see the little rollers in there or something it's just got up to 4 000 pounds yeah and then you can see him kind of thinking well i can say that now i can get four thousand pounds or i can wait because if they work then i can get more but if i just i might just take it now well you might just take it now i'll take it yeah so you get some that just wouldn't last so wanna go 200 quid i'll take the money what have you done there how about as well just to complicate it a little bit i actually love the simplicity of that but to complicate it there was that old uh there was a like an old psychology experiment wasn't there where you could either choose to share the money and if both people

this kind of works if it's proper if you're proper against each other so maybe if you have to work together to build the jackpot well that's what i'm saying whether the jackpot just arbitrarily ticks along and ticks up and then there's a i don't know a variety show going on around it yeah yeah because you could actually you could just have that in the you can have a load of tasks to get the money higher you have physical tasks and questions and i don't know yeah there's something in the core of it yeah that's giving something there needs to be something i think where you work together to raise the yeah it's so cruel though having to work together but then knowing at any point one of you is going to screw the other one over there's something in there like essentially you're working to give money to the other person feels like it maybe needs some kind of second twist on the seat yeah that is a wouldn't it be lovely if there was some sort of i don't know because it's so crazy so cruel and so selfish that it it doesn't say very much about humanity and i feel like in these times we need like a we need a bit more kindness or something like there's a way there's a way of flipping it around or there's something because there was that one with uh what's his name uh kilroy which was cheryl shaft doesn't it [ __ ] or chest chair or shaft i mean the borderline on it's been done hasn't it really yeah in some ways yeah stuff to see what they look like i was going along really nicely wasn't it until we sort of realized it's been done i think trouble is with that i think it's a brilliant idea but um trying to add stuff onto it takes work from the idea it would need it just needs a production that's brave enough and big enough and has a personality big enough to carry it through as a presenter in one thing doesn't it yeah yeah that's the purity you're right soon as you start bringing all the stuff that you feel you need to make it into something and you kind of lose that literally a game show where you don't have to know anything or do anything other than just say i'll have all the money please do you know there's something beautiful in that central concept and i think if you try you know what it is it's because the the way it would work best is obviously to have some decent prize money because that uh increases the conflict and the interest in it doesn't it but in order to ideally the um the tv companies are trying to eke as much sort of you know tv time out of that money as possible aren't they and the problem is can you stretch that idea for you know half an hour it's quite a tricky it's quite a big ask is it yeah just waiting for that moment yeah yeah that's that's kind of why you need to you need stuff before it you need to sort of build the pot or something yeah but there are but there is it's true there is also something just in the image of two people staring at each other whilst waiting for that number yeah whilst the number behind them just gets bigger and bigger you know what i do i might take that idea and use it in a in a story in a book so that could be a game show that exists in this world can you imagine if it's got you know it kind of normally tips off at five grand or something like that but this one's been going on for years there's two people who've been in it for years yeah it's like on 28 million or something like that and they're just having this stand up yeah and it's on like the big screens in piccadilly circus or whatever in times square all around the world there is something a bit dystopian about it it's ju it's so horrible isn't it in a way yeah it is just totally about the money you know about screwing yeah about greed and shafting somewhere yeah this has gone on for years and then it turns out they're actually both dead they've been staring at each other for years they're just robots yeah they haven't moved for years so yeah we'll put them we'll park that we'll park i can see that i do you know you get that movers don't you when action's taking place and then there's a screen behind them in times square or something and on the screen this number's still going up and up and up and up and it's in millions and millions of pounds it's a it's a it's a nice image right next next this one i quite like i think could work quite well okay so two dead brothers

um are brought back to life by their black magic black magic worshipping sister john you're gonna have to start again because all i got was interference and then you going and i think that worked quite well

i wondered why you were laughing i was like it's not that funny yet i mean it's quite good but it's not funny yet so uh can you hear me now yes okay so two dead brothers are brought back to life by their black magic worshiping sister uh to find out how they died they died under mysterious circumstances and no one really knows what happened and so she brings them back to life to her own surprise to be fair and uh they're basically zombies right so they've been rotting for quite a long time there's bits falling off them they look like effectively look like zombies but they're just like chatting away and they can't really remember they remember certain elements of the night they died but they don't remember everything uh i imagine they're not very good at communicating as well they've got a bit of tongue left so you know they can't they can form they can form words quite well but uh yeah and there's like a there's like a neighbor who uh who watches a lot of zombie movies he's always trying to behead them in every episode uh unaware that they're they're effectively like the good guys they're trying to track down the bad guys so it's a kind of a murder mystery comedy but they're two zombies trying to find who killed them in effect so and they've got and they've got to find out who did it before they completely fall apart yeah i think there's there's probably some kind of by midnight on this day and their bits keep falling off them like they'll lose an arm yeah but uh yeah they've got like a they've got some kind of time limit where they're allowed to be around for a while but they but there's i think there's a bit of comedy in the uh you know they'll like watch some youtube videos on uh makeup and contouring and they'll like fill in the gaps and then make themselves up but the video is actually to make yourself up to look like cameron diaz so they both look a bit like cameron diaz for one of the episodes i could see them yeah i could see them um like one of them ends up having to work behind the counter somewhere at kfc or something like that

because it's like because it's all full of moody 16 year olds anyway that no one notices it's just they're all acting the same that's good yeah like it's built up like they're gonna stick out and it's gonna be everyone's gonna find out but then when you're going i won't slide that anywhere you order please you can imagine going actually no this still works i really like that john yeah i think it's i think it's got something to it i think there needs to be another element of something else is going to happen element of power because at the minute it's they it's two people need to find out how they died before they fall apart and they can't find that out there needs to be another there needs to be another element of like if they don't figure that out in time someone else dies yeah yeah well it could be you could have in the first episode you could have one brother dying couldn't if it's something that's and then have the other brother dying in that episode or even the next episode and so she brings one of she brings one of them back to life and then she realizes she can bring the other one yeah not back to life but back to i don't know like then you need you need the desk to be a someone's next but what you need to work out what that would actually be that would make sense in that situation yeah yeah yeah and why is her life at risk because she's starting to find out too much i don't know yeah you're absolutely right dave i think it needs uh the next level of peril i like the core concept yeah needs it does need a bit of thought there's a show worth looking at um i cover what it's called about a zombie with a real girlfriend just to make sure it's not too this there isn't that sort of element of uh peril i don't think i'll have a look yeah because you're right if that is that some of the dead person fingers falling in the kfc may have been done already but yeah yeah so there's that one yeah i can't actually there is something about that idea i don't think it works as a sitcom necessarily but uh no it's not set yeah it's not set in one place enough is it it's more of a sort of comedy horror yeah screenplay isn't it yeah yeah possibly well that's one of those that needs fully writing i think to realize itself tonight just let me put that on my to-do list as well i do do the byron radio thing first and then do the screenplay of the week after yeah right this screenplay yeah it's funny though like that first bit where we we didn't hear what you were saying john i'm expecting there to be quite a lot of different dramas and things uh about the sort of unheard of bits of communication from zoom chords it drops yeah yes so there was that one i mean these these aren't as bad as i remember them it's not monkey tennis is it this is a quality idea monkey tennis you want more why not you want more i'll give you more you might like this one dave this was this was designed with you in mind to some extent this idea for a sitcom where um the first episode a couple of guys in the flat movie and um one of them i don't know how it would work but one of them kind of gets sucked into the tv somehow or gets influenced by the tv and basically each episode is um it's like a meta sitcom so a guy gets himself into some scrapes and in order to get out of the circle yeah in per episode but in order to get out of him he has to work out what would happen in a sitcom

so like like a typical 80s yeah sitcom basically so it might even reference back to what happened in corny falls and horses or yeah goodnight sweetheart or yeah you could have keeping up appearances or some others do have him or whatever yeah yeah there's a solution to how he gets out of his scrape yeah you could have parodied existing sitcoms just stick on version of quantum leap yes yes yes yes i was just going to say that yes good yeah yeah it's quantum leap that's that i mean that's the log line isn't it yeah it's quantum leap but the answer is sitcom and why is it happening to him because he got sucked into the tv yeah well why did bottom leap happen but that might be the you know the long story what is what the hell is going on but just i mean i love the thing is i'm addicted to parodies yeah yeah i love them i love them and i think they're just awesome touch points on it yeah i love the fact that you could go back to a sort of 70s slightly racist sitcom and have to exist in that world and then into a sort of an american modern family type situation yeah and just yeah all of those different so i don't know what i don't know i don't know whether he'd be going into or whether he just need to use plot devices from sitcoms to get out of his current i don't know i don't know what the but it's almost like um like a computer adventure game you know where it makes you do stuff to do stuff yeah so you'd have to go i don't know what the whatever needs to the piano needs to fall off the roof doesn't it like you saw

oh no she needs to get a dress caught in the door or something or whatever the thing is oh look what's happening oh mistaken identity oh i've got two wives and i'm having tea with them it's two restaurants next door to each other i always see it like um what's that bloody film it's one of the um well the movies marvel marvel movies in end game you know where they go back into the past and they're um they're dealing with themselves in a previous movie right right no i don't know like the action from the first avengers movie is going on and they've gone back in time to try and steal something from something oh yeah kind of i see it kind of like that where you've got real what's the age of like you know the hotel at faulty towers and they're you know the character is sort of in the hotel whilst this other stuff's going on that would be quite cool wouldn't it if you could borrow actual yeah actual sitcoms that's probably as expensive

but it seems it strikes me as quite an expensive idea if you're gonna be literally doing it properly

ordinary his ordinary life could turn into a sitcom couldn't it so we see his ordinary life and then he gets sucked into the tv and he feels like he's still in his ordinary life but then he realizes there's canned laughter in his ordinary life like his ordinary life turns into a sitcom so he works out that he needs to it's almost almost like the truman show kind of yeah it's also like one division all right okay i haven't seen that but i've seen clips right scene yeah uh in one division two characters from marvel movies two superheroes basically wake up inside sitcom from the 1950s or 60s right that sounds right like this

annoyingly like yeah and they're kind of trying to work out how the hell they're there so they're trying to live a life but they can hear there's candle after and uh yeah yeah i've never even seen that that's harder than it looks this you know

there's another one another one hear that sound of the bubble burst yeah the voice is just suddenly gone really yeah i haven't seen that one brutal that was awful actually that was terrible because i started listening to myself explaining the idea thinking yeah yeah yeah oh yeah yeah and then went through the whole process again all over again reliving the horror yeah well that means it's a good idea let's that's what you need to take from these things isn't it yeah if you have no knowledge good ideas and you've come up with a similar kind of concept then you've had a good idea yeah yeah exactly yeah probably would have been cheaper than one division as well oh yeah oh we're back on uh back on horseback then aren't we with hugh scott we've got a minute but it is a pretty good one isn't it antiques roadster on horseback yeah yeah so is it it was at this stage should we check whether any of the current horse can actually write or not or is it too early at this point oh i expect uh a few emails i think fiona what's her name fiona bruce fiona bruce she can ride a horse surely if i know anything it's that fiona bruce can ride a horse i'm just going to put it in google now see she's going to have stables and everything i think so it does

from a times article in 2016 she says then she took up horse riding about five years ago so she's been horse riding for 10 years there we go there you go email her dave now i will gmail.com that's the one yeah uh let's do it hello and welcome to the 330 at aintree they're under star disorders and they're off first out of the blocks it's founded in the attic followed closely by fished it from a skip also quick off the line it belonged to my father but i don't really know where he got it from and their horses down a horse is down who is it i can't quite see oh it's i'm sorry it's a fake i'm sorry it's a fake one of the pre-race favorites is down as they reach halfway fished it from a skiff still has it by your nose but coming up quickly on the outside it belongs to a friend but i desperately wanted to be on television moving through the field we've got lovely peace but worthless haven't seen one of these for a while and would be worth the fortune if it wasn't for that crack but still leading the way it's fish did from a skip fish different skiff is going to

just tell me how much just tell me how much is going to take it just tell me how much wins the antiques roadshow classic ridden by fiona bruce what an amazing ending what a race what a horse what a woman so i think around it was around this stage we were gave up okay let's look at what we've got and uh let's decide what we think is the best idea and uh and this is where we went next well so so far i i like i like the poker night and i like the the byron university thing thus far to sort of develop a bit more yeah i think um poker night is probably the one to

hang something on isn't it in terms of a little bit i think so because i think it's got the the cheapness about it yeah yeah and it doesn't it doesn't need that extra development you know i was saying the bearing thing where you kind of think yeah you probably do need to have something to attach to it yeah yeah yeah i need to have a stage show that's been going for six months or so you know there needs to be some whereas poker night scripted out i can see that yeah yeah i think they're just they're just normal just regular people that's that's the thing isn't it they're not like but with their own weird angles or their own things or like people do or it's a good little macrocosm isn't it because everybody's personalities really come out in the playing of the game as well it's a proper like psychological yeah well i think i was just to say that i think you can i think you can have jimmy like danny might have a massive chip on his shoulder about parking you know like some people just get really weird about parking yeah or not the not the cake no no yeah um do you know something you can take little things like that and just kind of like so yeah so that's what it would be about in my mind is that kind of taking tiny little tiny little normal things yeah and there's one person who just gets absolutely battered every time so from the one time he doesn't yeah and he's like whoa what's what's why what's the yeah what's going on you're pregnant maybe he's pregnant yeah that's very good that'd be good wouldn't it have a bit of a bit of trans activision in it i have a proper interesting so that being that'd be interesting if you had someone yeah there's some weird questions going on but only one of them would know that and it'd be lovely because they've been to school together say yeah yeah yeah or they've been out together when they were younger or something and then one of them was transitioned and obviously the other person who's been with them all the time is just like well that's just to the german doesn't it doesn't even bear mentioning it's quite a nice thing for the modern world doesn't just say well why the [ __ ] didn't you tell us it's like well tell you what it's just that's who jim is doing that's a little surprise wouldn't it that's what that's what needs to be on it like making it yeah yeah but making it normal it's just not it's just uh anything could happen you know and it down to little things like you've got some people who take the game really seriously some people who it's all about just meeting up with you one guy that just doesn't take it seriously and invariably wins yeah yeah but he's just playing on his phone is that is that good is that good yeah we've been playing for 20 years like how do you not know that that's the best hand you could possibly have yeah just there would have to be someone who just loves playing really stupid games as well like really massively overly complicated games yeah you have to they have to explain every single time they play it yeah and someone's like some some of them want it to sort of stay everything should be the same every time so they've got the same snacks if they haven't if you don't have a particular brand of crisps it's not it's ruined whereas other people you know they want to change things and make you know perhaps introduce some new people to the group like you said someone brings a friend along i think there's a lot you can do with a real really but you've got that sort of tight group of friends together and little changes here and there can make massive have massive implications there's a lot you can do without really it doesn't have to be a big story idea every week you know the story can be john forgets the crisps do you know what i mean and then from that you've got a whole episode just a little grievance and then someone yeah like gets really upset and walks out and yeah yeah then you can just yeah it does just become about characterization doesn't it you've got a billy bullshitter you've got a doing kind of a someone who thinks he's doing really well in life and he's always dropping name dropping and making sure he's brand new keys are on the table you know kind of he's playing there that's the thing you want in it actually you want these group of six people that don't really like each other

but because of the porker yeah it's because they've been doing it for ages yeah they've come together sort of slightly piecemeal because of they've invited their mate who's

yeah they've known each other for like 10 years yeah yeah yeah good it's a little bit too close to our poker group to be fair yeah i was just to say it probably is you can you could probably bring in some pretty big stuff as well yeah in a nice way where you have that kind of proper british bittersweet comedy sort of thing during words yeah bringing serious stuff you know grief or addiction or whatever do you want like proper like that works they're if they're sort of our age you know they mean they've known each other a long time it used to be important thing but now they're talking about you know one of them's lost their parent or whatever you know the stuff that's actually starting to happen to people in our age group you've got kids now you've got aging parents you've got job issues stress freaking holsters and all that sort of stuff yeah right can i yeah cool right get it rendered cool um

i think tommy uh i think tommy summed that up really yeah yeah i mean i got excited about that idea so much that after we went off our zoom call um i literally went straight on opened up word and saved a document called poker night and uh is there any is there anything in that document tom well no but you gotta yeah i thought you were gonna say i was so excited about it i went straight online opened up an account uh and i've been gambling consistently i got so excited about it i went online and looked at the exact same premise of the american sitcom

it's interesting and all these clips are the brainstorm though isn't it that um john decided john edited these clips for us to put into the show and um he just decided to miss out completely my bargain hunt parody so even in the outtakes of ideas um it wasn't it wasn't even good enough to get into the ideas that weren't good enough do you think things had to go wrong things had to go yeah no no i completely appreciate it yeah but i think that's we we uh we know what we're doing now don't we all we've got we all still we're all still excited about that do we i i genuinely i think it's good i love it actually the more i think about it the more i like it i actually started to um i started to work out the characters yeah uh yesterday i started to in fact i started to illustrate them to draw them so i could kind of see them in my head i think that helps because you can start to see how they uh they tessellate and work together i think it's going to be terrible we spend all the time writing it it gets commissioned and then john digs his heels in when it comes to casting it doesn't look like the picture right we do not have anyone on our books that looks like a stick man with a head twice

like are you any good at drawing because i'm imagining what it would look like if i tried to draw the characters from something and i don't think that would be a help in any way i wouldn't say i'm good at drawing but i can i can visually represent something vaguely that's in my head we're going to put john's drawings on the block i think we should absolutely absolutely because i i just can't help but see this as a like a really brilliant procrastination technique i need to write this but first i'm going to draw a picture of characters i knew that interview with jason we did last week would have uh

why don't you just animate the whole thing instead of we don't need to film it do it you just draw oh my just tell you what the byron and his bear would make a brilliant i i was thinking that actually yeah do you know what you're wrong because that's what what yeah so i don't know you want like 20 let's do it for the sort of 22 minutes american standard 26 frames per second so 26 times 60 times 22 that's not that many pictures you'd have to draw john no a lot of them are the same they all seem like quite small numbers and they're both very similar in most of them all look like the characters in rainbow anyway so it's easy maybe you could do you think you could um just get all the old footage of rainbow maybe do a sort of cassette boy job i wanted lonely as a cloud uh yeah i think that'll work so so the plan is we're gonna get back together yeah with a few ideas uh of of characters and uh and maybe gags and stuff yeah we're gonna have another little con flab aren't we and then hopefully put a proper treatment together proper pitch document yeah yeah and when we've done that we'll pitch it we'll pitch it to rich and uh yeah see what he says see what i look forward to that episode speaking of coming episodes oh yeah what we got next week tommy oh we've got another interview um with a children's author this time adam bushnell yes another first again it's just another slightly different perspective and and uh i don't want to ruin it all for you listen next week but he goes into schools and talks to kids and kind of tries to inspire them about writing which is just about our level isn't it so yeah he might inspire us in the same way he would inspire a seven-year-old that's what we need very much on that yeah um but no really interesting and also actually we will be talking about oh what come on help me out here what was it actually nanowrimo nanowrimo nanowrimo national nanowrimo uh

yeah that's it yeah very knowledgeable about these things we're all going to have a go aren't we we're all going to have a go at writing a whole novel in a month at the same time we're all going to have a go because john was talking about maybe just oh a bit busy he can't commit the time yeah i might not i might not finish a novel let's be totally honest here let's be honest are you going to start but i am going to start i have already started plotting really i'm going to crack on with it and see how far i can be honest i'm not going to i'm not gonna finish a novel in a month either the whole point is having a go isn't it it's the taking part that counts i think i am gonna finish a novel in a month so are we all gonna do are we all gonna do our mystery uh thrillers is that is that what we're gonna write yeah well tommy's tommy's got two lined up so yeah well i think i've decided oh yeah i think i've decided i'm going to go with my original one not much oh really but it is it is still a murder mystery though isn't it so there's not actually a murder in it but yes it is yeah well there might be a murderer who knows but yeah i was no i was plotting it out and it was amazing because i had pantsed it before and kind of like scribbled out a rough outline but going through the proper plot points and stuff it was it was hitting pretty much all the points in the right and i'm thinking maybe i do now to write a story maybe everything's seeped in planning is the waste of last 25 weeks have actually taught us something maybe yeah maybe possibly that yeah so yeah so i think i'm going to go with that that's cool and very also whilst we're doing that because one thing just isn't enough whilst we're all writing an entire novel in a month we're also going to be reviewing some writing software at the same time and then talking about that to our loyal listeners yeah so that's an extra level or layer of excitement and by the time this goes out we will also have done another new york midnight flash fiction just never ending in this yeah so there's the best way to put it is that there's a lot coming up so the best thing that you could do if you want to hear it is to subscribe to this podcast if you haven't already done so yeah oh and if you want to by the way sorry going back a little bit there if you're thinking of doing nanowrimo as well come and join our little group i've set up a group which is just failing writers so if you search failing writers uh send us a i guess i don't know whether you send us an email and then i invite you or whether you can just join and then i'll let you in i'm not quite sure how it looks like this is a well this is a well thought out thing that we've got going on very well thought out but i imagine if you search failing writers come on it's it's as well thought out as anything else that's true i reckon if you search failing writers that'll be uh that'll be happening

yeah yes once you're all signed up it was one of our listeners mark who suggested we should do that which is yeah yes thanks thanks to mark boardman for that suggestion although it does make you kind of feel like you want to be one of those you know the teachers used to go well if you think you can teach the class better you come up here mark huh you come and do the podcast then yeah you can't know

you're listening to the failing writers podcast remember to subscribe and we'd love it if you could leave us a review too as long as you've got something nice to say obviously did you ever did you ever call your teacher because that was that was like the most embarrassing thing you could manage to do wasn't it as a kid but i think in primary school the worst thing that could happen was to call your teacher mum in secondary school the worst thing that happened just because it usually during register wasn't it you'd say yes mom but like in secondary school now isn't it yeah the worst thing would be when you went to say yes miss but your voice would just go christmas uh by accident that's the most embarrassing thing at second school i once called the teacher mum in middle school and um got told off for it got told off oh yeah turned it out it was actually mine it was actually it was actually my mum and she said it's mrs turner while i'm at school come on come on i once said to the i mean it's not quite the same thing but the uh the train conductor who was going to check the tickets um i think i was trying to say buddy and mate at the same time and it came out babe so i said thanks babe

the look he gave me and you know when you're like okay i need to explain that now i need to explain what i've done but i haven't got time now he's leaving he's leaving he's gone oh god so every time i saw him he never looked me in the eye again which was uncomfortable because you dated him for like three months wasn't it yeah that's right it's really awkward that's just just best not to speak to anyone isn't it i think that's i think so dave i think that is my new policy but anyway the point was uh subscribe so you don't miss out before we had a point yeah about an hour ago there was a point uh which was subscribe to the podcast to make sure you don't miss out on any of these thrilling stories about tom's childhood i think i was kind of like a mullet don't we as a podcast if we had to be a hairstyle we would be a mullet wouldn't we hey mullet's a very trendy man we're gonna start off at the start and it's all neat and tidy and we get to the point and here's some stuff here's a nice interview and the end is just kind of trails on whatever man it's just party time right down your back so there you go join us for uh join us for a bit of adam bushnell next week yeah very good very good until then

cheerio then everyone goodbye

hello where's everybody gone